K is for Kilts
A new theme park had just opened in Edinburgh. It was called ‘Off Kilter’ and the whole city was buzzing with excitement about it. Jim, in particular, couldn’t wait to get on the ‘Haggis From Hades’ ride and get his adrenaline pumping. It had been a long, hard year and the prospect of a date with Julie – perhaps even a furtive kiss during the ‘Neeps In The Night’ rollercoaster – filled him with hope.
As he approached the front entrance, palms sweating from anxiety at seeing Julie, a voice piped out from the megaphones atop the sinister gates.
“Line up for a hair-raising adventure on ‘Creaky Reekie’ in the next thirty minutes and be in to win a years free tickets to the park! And make sure you come on down to the restaurant where we’ll be serving ‘Gruesome Grouse’ and ‘Hot Toad Toddys’ until 6pm!”
Jim scanned the crowd and the eerie ingress of the theme park. Many people had come adorned in their finest macabre and tartan and he felt somewhat underdressed. What if Julie turned up dressed to the nines in Georgian Horror Couture and found him here in double denim? He panicked and hastily purchased some ‘Haunted Pipes’ and a fluffy Greyfriars Bobby. What a neat gift this will make, he thought. As he took possession of his novelty stuffed dog, he noticed a thin wisp of mist curling around his legs, getting thicker by the second. He turned back to the gates in search of Julie but every single person had vanished. The theme park was dead quiet.